Hearty conversation is an amazing way to nip some of life’s troubles in the bud. Nothing explains the concept of communication smugglier than conversation.
Since the prosperity of life itself is explained by effective communication, it is important everyone who desires quality life to master the art.
And because you matter, there’d be times when a friend, a mentee or a client will approach you for heart to heart discussions, the best gift you can offer in such circumstances is to keenly listen.
Yes, man has an innate desire not only to hold an opinion, but also to have his opinion heard. We naturally want to contribute and to impress. Sometimes we even go overboard forcing our opinions down people’s throats, without attentively hearing them out. We hardly get much problems solved this way.
So, when you’re being solicited for an audience, you must obey the first rule of the game – you must exercise enough discipline to listen up. The mystery of listening is so powerful that your partner often mysteriously feel as though a heavy load is being lifted from off their shoulders.
The chemistry of the mind sometimes fires the wrong commands; emotions get clogged, simple issues appear complex, difficult issues appear like the world is really caving in… You’ll do your friend a world of good if you’d offer your ears rather than your tongue. Let them exhaustively decongest their emotions without interruption.
When you attentively listen, your friend will have a sense that their ‘problems’ are not being downplayed. They will instantly feel a sense of solidarity; like both of you now forming a formidable force against a common concern – against a common ‘enemy’
Funny enough, after someone ‘downloads’ their problems, they often realized that what they’d been so worried about wasn’t as insurmountable as it initially felt.
Listening is that powerful, no wonder it’s the very first skill needed for effective communication.
What kind of conversationalist are you?
Oshaloto, Joseph Tade is a strategic communication expert. He plays, writes and travels.
Those Who Compare Themselves with Themselves are not Wise. – the Holy Bible.
Studies at the intersection of social media exposure and emotional health show that instead of being inspired, some actually get depressed. This is sad.
In my opinion, what these studies prove is that our responses to what we see on the social media are not very correct. It shows we’re repeatedly unable to draw the line between reality and the make-believe.
Aside the incidences of bullying, body shaming and other attacks on the cyberspace, it was discovered in some studies that the more some people get exposed to the glamors of the social media, the more they become unsatisfied with their own lives. This is an _incontrovertible_ evidence of man’s flawed response to life.
It’s not exactly that this category of people are envious of other people’s successes – but somehow, they measure their own values, goals and sense of accomplishment against the ‘film tricks’ that pervade the social media.
Truth is, at every stage of life, some of our friends will get ahead in some aspects of life faster. And this is OK. You’ve had your own great times too, and other greater things are on the way. Sadly, what drives some people into emotional crises are NOT even the real accomplishments like admission into college, visit to orphanages, volunteer services, prayer retreats, gospel financings etc, they’re some vanities like fast cars, expensive launch and some photos taken via some mobile phone. My gawd!
I hate to confess this, but for the health of my fellow NETIZENS; please, those pictures you see us take in nice places are not always a true reflection of our real statuses or joy. You’d be surprised that that babe, that guy, who posted a pictures of themselves in an airplane, in a yacht or in some exotic eateries may still be very heavily indebted somewhere. His rent may be due. She may have just been jilted… Why then would you make yourself an emotional wreck over someone who’s trying to forget his own troubles?
OK, hear this. My pictures that have attracted the most likes (please your happiness must not depend on the likes) are the very ones I took at the most trying moments in my life. Shotan ẹ?
If people are simply trying to decongest their emotions and worries by posting fine updates on their timelines, my friend you’d better just look, hit the like button and _waka_ pass.
I’ve been privileged to interact with some individuals who battled (and won) one emotional challenge or the other, much of the episodes _were_ mere images and concerns conjured up somewhere in the wrong side of their mind; apparently a wrong response to what they have seen. Don’t let that be you.
If after reading this, you still get your BP revved up over this thing called social media wàhálà hmnnn, I know you won’t even try it. You love me pretty much than that. Don’t you?
– Oshaloto, Joseph Tade is a Strategic Communication enthusiast.
He plays, talks, writes and travels.
29th July, 2017
“We cannot NOT communicate”
”Organisation has a choice tell its own story promptly and widely OR be silent and allow its competitors/detractors push a memo that will kill it”
Oshaloto, Joseph Tade
1.) Prompt communication between an organization and its relevant stakeholders is key. Priority must be accorded public relations efforts at any given time. Every organization, public or private is a group of artists performing. They are a spectacle to a specified audience.
2.) Never had it become more imperative for any organization to project its performances clearly and consistently than now. You see, each one of us expects some transparency in the way things that concern us are being run. And except when we are left with no choice, we often demand to be duly informed on matters we have stakes in. We love to be kept informed and involved.
3.) Profit oriented organizations and politicians understand this needs of ours better. This is why tens of millions are voted for public relations efforts. They do not joke with press conferences, media parleys, press releases/stamsnts, advertorials, Town Hall Meeting, public hearings, Facebook, Twitter etc. They understand that for them to have a neighborly interchange with their publics and stakeholders, make new friends and retaining old ones, they have to consistently fill them in on relevant information; their strengths, prospects and challenges.
4.) The dimensions of organizational communication is changing at an alarming rate. And any organization – profit or nonprofit – that does not have a good grasp on PR, with defined mode of reaching out to its internal and external publics has no place in the 21st century ‘organizationing’!
5.) Audiences are now increasingly sophisticated; they are a lot more informed, educated, aware and powerful. Their access to different information sources – genuine or bogus – is virtually limitless.
6.) Organizations must diligently consider what it considers ‘privileged information’ and ‘classified information’ as the regime of Freedom of Information Act trumps much of these pretensions. What used to be ‘privileged information’ are now being mocked by a regime of highly liberalised media. Big thanks to SR brand of journalism.
7.) Organisation heads must therefore resist the temptation to to keep its activities shrouded in needless secrecy. They must engage Public Relations experts to effectively communicate with their various audiences.
8.) You undermine the relevance of your stakeholders, demean their persons and create unnecessary controversy and ultimately endanger the credibility of your organization and its objectives when you operate in the dark – remember your competitors would in some way get wind of your activities and promptly spin your story in their own favor while fatally discrediting you. You do not want this to happen in your organization, do you?
9.) Take home. When you fail to get valuable and consistent (and true) information to your audience, your are telling them that what they hear from your opponents is OK. This is counterproductive.
10.) Connect with your audience, deliberately. We just cannot NOT communicate!
Oshaloto, Joseph Tade is a Strategic Communication expert. He Plays, Talks, Writes and Travels.
He’s on Facebook as http://www.facebook.com/tadejoe
I do NOT support IBMs or any of the nuclear warloads. No I’m forever concerned about the conception, manufacture and sales, stockpile and the inevitability of their use.
It is easy to dismiss the Hiroshima tragedy as a mere historical mistake and that the world’s mad men are now well tamed by current civilizations. Give me some break! I’m not willing to wager a Náírà coin on such a slim chance – the lottery that man is now less brutal than he was ninety years ago is a Russian roulette.
In fact, the argument that international resolutions on (nuclear) warfare put us safe from a possible nuclear holocaust flies in the face of daily flagrant violation of these treaties.
The campaign about nuclear disarmament has been on for as long as I can remember (probably before I was born), and I am yet to read about a single state that has been kind enough to dismantle its stockpiles.
The very fact that the philosophies behind the nuclear arms race can still be fashionable today shows that the savagery we pretend to have shed off is still very much with us.
I wish the world would invest a fraction of its war effort in sharing love and peace and food.
It is too late, and consequently of no use, to begin to imagine a world without some pockets of crises. In fact, the heightened tensions between different sovereign states present very bleak hopes of a crises-free global community.
This is why I have become an admirer of (Missile) Defense Systems!
Note: A few minutes ago I watched an exclusive report by CNN – a breakthrough in Laser Defense Technology by the United States Navy. With the insight provided, a laser warload proves that it is truly a defense equipment rather than assault.
It is called Laser Weapon Systems – LaWS!
As a missile defense system (I love MDSs) the speed and accuracy with which the LaWS neutralises threats is incredible. It is cheap, compact and I believe it is clean enough as not to constitute a major compromise on our earth protection efforts.
I recommend this technology for every sovereign state!
– Oshaloto, Joseph Tade
July 18th, 2017
In the Cool of the Evening
There are a few days when you have definite issues on your mind. A good many other days you’ll have scores of thoughts, ideas and even concerns zooming back and forth on the highway of the mind.
The mind is that powerful. It hosts these all-sorts without going bananas.
Don’t get at all bothered by the enormity of your thoughts, in fact, if you must be concerned at all, be concerned about what you expose yourself (your mind) to.
Sound mind is not the absence of crazy, funny and sometimes frightening thoughts, it is the ability to prioritize and take hold of the thoughts that matter.
Thankfully the Creator has given us the power to decide which thought to give expression to.
However, to avoid wearing yourself out bothering about the different ideas and thoughts popping up in your head, you have to be deliberate in taming this very powerful part of you.
I primarily suggest the God therapy. You see, God made you; your body, your spirit and your MIND. He understands its every single part and functioning. So it is important to let His Word set the tone for your thought pattern.
Deliberate steps like reading, listening to good music, exercising and being with family and good friends also helps.
Your thoughts is also positively impacted when you consider the weak and the lowly. Spend time and resources with them.
Ideas are transient. So, when a fantastic idea pops up, it must be noted down as quickly as possible. This means that you have to have with you your writing materials. (Create a virtual space if you must use gadgets like smartphones)
So never think you’re going nuts when ideas spring up in your mind in quick succession. The next big thing might just be seeking a birth through you.
Summary, you THINK, PRIORITIZE and TAME your thoughts, NOTE/WRITE down your ideas and WORK on them.
Hey, will you?
– Oshaloto, Joseph Tade
July, 15th. 2017
I doubt if anyone with a modicum of conscience or education can give thumbs up to the government of Kogi State. The state especially under the current administration has consistently showed its incompetence – how grossly incapable it is to effect any worthwhile deliverables.
In fact, I’m constrained to submit that it does not posses the conscience to get embarrassed even if the entire institutions in the state closed down throughout this sad, ignoble and unhappy regime.
They do not appear to possess enough dose of honor to process the implications of our collective disaffection and agitations. I stopped writing about them a long time ago because they won’t be around for ever, will they?
I will forgive Bello and his gang a thousand times, than accept the debasement of our scholarship. I often can’t easily let go each time any member of this community regales in unscholarly indulgences.
I have received some bashing for my position on the ASUU – government imbroglio. While I do apologize for appearing insensitive to the plight of the unpaid staffers, I believe the concerns raised were probably unclear (I also take responsibility) or deliberately misread.
That being said, the import of this update is never a rejoinder, but a passionate observation on over a trend that I believe are not in our best interest. Within my extremely limited experience, I believe we must call out this trend for what it really is.
It is simply unfair to lump up an entire demographic which takes opposing viewpoint over a particular cause as representing the problem of Nigeria. In fact, quite on the contrary, this represents the hope of a just intellectually mobile and liberal future we all aspire for. Any effort to make them feel worthless is intellectual banditry that must be promptly jettisoned.
The tens of thousand of students who have taken a position over the protracted strike in the state’s tertiary institutions have been demonized in the most unfair and undignified manner.
What the older generation owes this demographic is an honest, a humble (not condescending) and consistent analysis, education and engagement. And professors Andrew Efemini, Pius Adesanmi, and other progressively minded folks like Olusegun Iselaiye must be highly commended for their quality enlightenment efforts.
I think it’s important that our university teachers be reminded how strategic their profession is to the development of an informed and tolerant society. And it cannot be achieved through the paternalistic approach which unfortunately pervades the Nigerian campus space. May I suggest that the critical stakeholders unmount the high horse of exclusive stakeholdership and duly recognize the interest of others and their rights to hold divergent views.
You see, scholarship got badly injured the moment our academics became too intolerant to opposing views. The arrogance that made transparency become a matter of convenience, is no less a trouble for progressive thoughts. College teachers now have a feeling that they owe no one any explanation for actions or decisions they take – much less the students (the very reason for their engagement/employment). It is on record that historic movements began on college campuses – probably by young and inexperienced people – which presupposes that the concept of tolerance, free speech and an operationalized understanding of education was in force. I do not know how many of our academics still believe that peaceful protest is within the rights of students as procured by the constitution of the Federal Republic and the international charter.
The current youth population has been repeatedly bashed for daring to give vent to its convictions. The disdain with which the older folks now treat opposing views is to say the least unintellectual. Rather than engage, they victimize; rather than present helpful and superior arguments they demonize. Where then is the difference between them and a government that opens fire on protesters? I once told my sister never to be part of any antigovernment protest – sadly I had to give same advice to my brothers who are university students. They could get withdrawn!
Evidently, ASUU KSU does not deem it a matter of obligation to reach out to its internal and external publics particularly its students and their parents. Sadly still, pro – ASUU sentiments on various media platforms would rather decry the misguidedness of ‘our youth’ than engage with relevant information.
Teacher – student mutually respectful engagement is neither a concession nor condescension. It is a duty. And if you believe they don’t have sufficient intelligence to understand, perhaps it is time to interrogate what they are being taught.
We must fix this.
Leave your comments on oshalototade.wordpress.com
No matter the economic status of any individual; rich, wealthy, poor, real poor, we have been rich enough to have lost something valuable. We’ve also been ‘poor’ enough to have known the pain of loss.
Poor or rich, when the realities of any material loss dawn on us – either as individuals or groups – the succour we draw from loved ones has proven to be invaluable. Pretend all you can, we crave the love and warmth of people around us when things go wrong. This soft side of us does not respect the direction which the arrow in your bank account is facing.
Pretend all you want, you feel let down when people you call yours appear silent when you need their voice. We’re social beings.
The havoc wreaked on ‘us’ by the #Lekki flood is an example of how man can be devastated due to no actionable fault of his, thereby surging his need for something more powerful – love.
The warmth provided by love is unequaled by any known force. Indeed, it is unrivaled. And it is a mystery! This is why it is the most suitable antidote for any loss, real or imagined.
We read in the news daily of how communities, organizations groups and GOVERNMENTS set up relief camps to cater for disaster victims’ material and emotional needs. While it is merely a moral issue on the parts of organizations, groups and communities to show concern to people in distress, that cannot be said of governments.
The government has a sacred duty of making life and living attractive to its citizens. To do this, people elected to run government will often have to sacrifice their personal comforts. And except when an OFFICIAL engagement becomes too urgent, leaders at the appropriate level must visibly identify with victims; press releases, press conferences, donations, updates, fundraising and tweets must reflect the mood of the moment. There must be visits, too.
I’ve watched videos of the deluge both from verified and unverified sources. The water is massive. Individual efforts are frantic. Sadly, I am yet to see our first responders. There used to be an organization called NEMA. Wonder where they now are.
Yet, in all these failings, a citizen must not attempt to rival the government in it moral bankruptcy. We must unite, rally around ourselves, show ourselves some love.
Call your friends and relatives, call the council people, call the church and the mosque, build them tents, send relief materials send SMSs, cards. And don’t say they are rich enough.
Send Lekki your heart, let be sure someone cares, remember she’s chosen you ten times over a party going Ambode.
I’m particularly impressed by the interest of Nigerians in many of our indigenous products. We’re clearly fascinated by what we’ve got. From Naija aṣọ ẹbi clothings to food varieties, our music and drama to our brand of comedy and gists – you just know ours is a population that admires what it’s got.
It gets equally exciting when your friends and relatives abroad flaunt items Nigeriana with such poise and carriage that is simply unmistakable. There’s something deeply satisfying about this.
This achievement, aside its intangible gains of national pride and dignity has also assisted in pooling our homegrown ideas and creativities into the global marketplace. The economics behind their explanations as potential foreign exchange earners certainly does not require a PhD.
For example, the production of indigenous fabric by a significant indigenous fashion population which has met and exceeded local consumption simply becomes export ready. Dollars will simply exchange hands. This has been happening.
This was the major emphasis of the Emir of Kano in a recently concluded Kano Economic Summit. He made clear his disdain for a Kano that’ll keep exporting hides or groundnuts or any of its raw materials.
You weigh his calls against a recent announcement that Nigeria is exporting RAW (and I mean UNPROCESSED yams) tubers of yams to the UK and sigh.
Perhaps impressed as I am, the ministry of Agriculture and Rural Development, led by Mr. Audu Ogbeh, tried lamely to replicate the examples set by the real champions of our economy – our fashion designers, beadmakers, visual artists, our filmmakers and musicians, our comedians and other #SMEs whose homegrown creativity are export ready. I was shocked that Mr Audu Ogbeh led MARD’s knowledge of economics – particularly export – is that basic. I also read some French and I will tell anyone who cares to listen that being a French graduate does not excuse you from basic economics.
The economic crazy idea of shipping every raw material out of our country is the saddest joke. I’d forever hoped uncle Ogbeh wouldn’t allow this happen in the ministry he principals. Watching him speak eloquently earlier in the year about his understanding of production driven (sic) agriculture made me fall for him absolutely helplessly (I remember my friend Akinlolu Olojede trying to talk me out of trusting our present crop of leaders). Sad that this very noble ministry hasn’t yet come to terms with processing agric produce. The shit is still watery.
All the resources in which the federal government has major stakes are shamefully shipped offshore; talk of the over 20 different deposits in Kogi, the mammoth cocoa in the southwest, intimidating grains supply in the North and an oceanic petroleum in the South-south, the government of the Federal Republic has a terrible history of economic irresponsibility.
Something has to change.
Think we need some elementary econs.
Leave your comments on oshalototade.wordpress.com or http://www.facebook.com/tadejoe.
Thanks for reading.
It’s becoming a cliché to tell a young person to acquire a skill. This particular topic has been flogged over and over as long as I can remember.
No thanks to the kind of education we have – where the hallmark of our learning centers around how much of Pythagoras, Aristotle and Mcluhan you can get your head stuck with, rather than how much you have been trained to be able to think outside the box.
I speak regularly with young people, many of whom I know are really smart and creative and I shudder at how many of them have become detached from these abilities that really set them apart. You talk with them for several minutes and they’d never say a thing about these things – are they freaking trying to be modest? I don’t think so. I really think they’d sacrificed so much on the altar of academics. And this hurts.
Arts and crafts are great ways to give expression to those abilities God has put into each of us. Young people particularly have to seek desperately for ways to give expression to this.
Each time I see the beautiful handiworks of friends like Joy Kays, David, Abalaka Monday, OlaRotimi Visuals, Sabjoz Beauty WorldZuleihat, Andy Ryms, Ifeanyi Arena Candy etc I feel highly elated that we have folks who have chosen to make the labor market less tensed up. They are working things out with dignity and are emerging as reference points as far as excellence is concerned. Guys, I may not have personally done much in commending you, but believe me, you are the best.
So how then can we get the fire of skills to burn more brightly? How can we bring expression to the loads and loads of abilities that have been stymied by the unhappy collaboration of our patently incompetent policy makers on one hand and the sort of parenting that is now in vogue? You know about the government, but I bet you may not know this thing about our parents, right? OK I’ll explain briefly.
Don’t get me wrong, our parents are fantastic.
Imagine John, 10 year old. JS 2, he goes to school by seven, returns by five. Mondays to Fridays. On Saturdays, Clement arrives the house for home lessons. At the home lesson, John is not being taught Music or instruments, he’s not being taught Italian, French or Spanish. No carpentry, machine tools, tailoring, baking or soap making. Not even event or interior decors. John’s parents, just like the Aisha’s believe the young man has to be taught and retaught the same things he’s learnt all week; Mathematics and English. Eku ìṣe sir, wehdon.
John also plays his own football not on the pitch but on the TV screen, not with his legs but with his keypad in hand.
This, sadly, has assumed a status symbol.
I believe a new understanding of education is dawning on us as young people. Today we have a lot more opportunities and information available to us than as never before been seen. This makes it easy for me to easily suggest to you, young man and woman to look within, what are you good at? What do you most effortlessly do? What inspires you? What are you passionate about? Probe into yourself, get your friends to tell you what he or she believes you’re good at and then get a training.
Such training may not have to be formal (though this helps), but ensure you pay for it. Giving a token for a skill learnt often increases your pride in, and respect for what you posses.
Kindly visit oshalototade.wordpress.com or http://www.facebook.com/tadejoe for more articles.
The Internet as a platform has democratized the cyberspace and the *cyberage , offering every single one of us the power to actively participate. Anyone with tools as basic as a smartphone can now produce and share media contents with an ease and speed that is incredible – his feedback is equally as easy and immediate. A technical term for this advancement is known as the Web 2.0.
Our liberties are now more freely exercised. This is sweet, if you ask me.
As common with any libertarian regime, there is popular participation. Expressions are always in huge volumes – good or bad. But when you consider man’s natural inclination to abuse just about anything, especially liberty, you just know he needs ‘help’ to safely enjoy this enormous liberty.
While I’m not about to suggest a muzzle of any sort, for I acknowledge an unhindered online expression – the crazy, the kind, the desirables and the deplorables – as a veritable part of democracy (even though I believe everyone MUST take responsibility for his actions), I’m compelled to suggest safer and dignified ways we can use the cyberspace.
It is not uncommon these days to see lots and lots of news sites and headlines screaming and sometimes winking for our attention. A lot of times these sites present very enticing headlines and offers just to ensure that you click. It is called Click bait.
These click baits come in most audacious and also in the creepiest ways. And the user often feels taken advantage of. Imagine your frustration, when for example, you’re trying to fill out a form online only to be redirected to a some frivolous site where you naturally wouldn’t have gone even in your lowest moments… , you’re also ‘treated’ to a crazy barrage of news and the alternative news!
Sifting through thousands of online newspapers, magazines and blogs poses a huge challenge to an average Internet user, as the ability to craft headlines and leads – which are the windows to news items – is no longer an exclusive skill of the mainstream media. In fact, amateur sites are just as skillful with this as their professional counterparts.
So what must a user do? How does he play safe amidst an army of ‘news sellers’, money doublers, ‘middle belt repairers/rejuvenators’ etc. whose claims are often not verifiable? How does he live life on this same cyberspace where he’s only a click away from danger?
I believe Online/Internet advisory service people have said so many things on this. I hope to collect some of their pieces of advice and share later. But if you’re able to lay your hands on them before I do, kindly post and tag me for wider circulation.
The need to stay safe on the Internet is as important as ‘important’ can get. A frivolously lived life on the Internet predisposes you to injury; mentally, socially, financially, morally, spiritually, academically, relationally and LEGALLY.
Needless battles on these eight fronts should be avoided.
And so, we must take necessary precautions, always!
Kindly visit oshalototade.wordpress.com or http://www.facebook.com/tadejoe for more articles